Who knew? Did you know writer's block was a real thing? Like for real for real? Did you know? Well... IT IS. Hence the lack of blog entries this year from yours truly. It is not that I could not write(hey my gratitude and emo journal are loaded), but my desire to inspire via this blog was almost completely cut off by a mental block called DISCOURAGEMENT. The"D" word. The one that I 'D'espise the most.
For the past few months(well year almost), discouragement was in the voice of my inner critic, a.k.a. Debbie Downer. I have heard in my head every reason to not write. Questions like, "What makes you qualified? How can you encourage anyone when you yourself are discouraged?", those questions then led to comments like, "You're a phony! You're a fake! You're a hypocrite! You have not even achieved one tenth of the goals you have set for yourself!". Debbie was going in and Ebonie was going down. I.e. No words written from November of 2018 until this day in October 2019.
I tried. Really I did. The Good Book( the Holy Bible that I cling to as an avid bible thumping Christian) tells us to call all negative thoughts captive and cast them down(2 Corinthians 10:5). It also says to focus on whatever is pure and beautiful(Philippians 4:8). Doing this made Debbie shut up for a while, but by the that time, I was already too exhausted to pick up a pen to encourage someone else. I also surrounded myself with encouragers. My encouragers include friends, family and inspiring people who contribute to my life in beneficial ways, whether it be face to face, podcast, or reading a book. I have even picked up drawing again(Dude my artistic skills definitly declined. See this blog entry photo. Haha).
All these things would help get me out of my head(and away from Debbie), but I still had no words of encouragement written for anyone else. It finally occured to me that it was time for Ebonie to encourage herself(insert light bulb here). I decided to write a letter to myself(and Debbie in a way).
I cannot take full credit for the idea of writing a letter to myself. I have often heard people(therapist and life coach type gurus) say, "Write a letter to your 5 year old self", or 8 year old version, or whatever past age that you needed someone or something and it/they were not there. I thought to myself like "I need to write a letter to my 36 year old self for now". At this point the letter began to write itself in my head and then BOOM I now have written words to encourage you.
Here is sneak peek of part of that letter...
..."Hey Ebonie Jade. My peculiar, amazing queen with a very bright future. I know you are not where you want to be, but PRAISE GOD you are not were you used to be. I am so happy that you have the desire to pursue your life goals. That desire matters. Not everyone has it. Some people are content to never grow and coast through life or worse yet, they have given up. That may be okay for them but you made a choice to grow and do more, and to NEVER GIVE UP AGAIN. Not to mention that you have, by the grace of God, handled every situation to the best of your ability with a will to do better should you be faced with it again..."
...I will give you more of the letter to myself upon request, but if you like anything I said in that letter so far or anything sparked something in you, I encourage you to write a letter to yourself. You can have all the right people pouring into you, all the tools to fight the good fight of faith, but if you cannot encourage yourself to belive you can do better, to use the tools, to continue trusting God and doing good, NO ONE CAN. So please, to refrain from wasting time and strength fighting with your Debbie, Get Up(or sit down and write a letter to yourself), go look in the mirror, and ENCOURAGE YOURSELF!
P.S. Yes this is my letter to you about a letter to me... I'd like to add that one of the people who encouraged me to write is also someone I try to continously encourage. She is an amazing artist. Don't believe me? Do you see the cartoon version of me in my updated background. She did that. If you have an Instagram and are a lover of art, or just happen to find this background as amazing as I do, follow Vero @vaid_art. Please and Thank you!